what to do now.... ?

im @ my desk ... im in the bathroom aka my office ..lol walking home .. in bed .. im the bath i cant stop thinking of my ......

this has been a not soo good week for me
my world is sort of crumbling infront of my eyes
the moment i tried to keep myself company or occupied while being alone .. i tried to send alil info that i thought would be fun to hear to my special person... not a good idea

the reply was supposed to be a fun text ...but it was sooooooo hurtfulll and life altering ....

i cant eat i dont sleep ... i dont focus on my job .... he is my air ... my water ... my pulse .... he is a necessity .. why doesnt he know this .... or rather why doesnt he believe this ... my heart is in critical condition right now....

what do i do now ........

i want to just be silent and let nature take its course .. but i cant im afraid some other mother nature will cross my path ... but i know sometimes agression or persistance as far as reaching out to a person... isnt alway a good idea ... so i am trying to chilll but everytime i look up look left look sideways i think of my mr .....
where r u
please come back ... i have never felt sooo hurt really i havent ever felt this way before ...
i know i am a very emotional person .. but sheesh at this point iam beyond emotional .. sheesh i think i have cried a river literally .. no bueno


i write these blogs .. because when i write i can just express my feeling altho theese words are here for the world to see.
but me writing just allows me to express with No interuption... no judgement well at least not right away until people begin to comment lol

but i dont care
i enjoy expressing myself thru words... especially written ... i used to write poetry .. as he does ... i sing at home to myself ... i call it tones from my soul .... these words i write.. are my sriptions from my soul....