What kinda Friends are We?

I don’t wana be "friends"with him anymore
because you be ignoring me as if im not important
So I figured if im not important
Then I will just be alone
And if I am important to you or matter somewhat then you needs to act like it
I HATE FEEELING LEFT OUT ….. IT’S THE WORST FEELING EVER
i see ... IT GOT A WEE BIT UGLY
I HONESTLY thought you didn’t care and would be like o well ok noprob
But you didn’t instead you wanted to meet up and talk about why I came to my decision
Then I asked myself does he actually care about me being in his life?????

but be in your life how
i am not really go with the flow kinda chick , when my feelings are involved

i dont know why is it that when i like some one i need very specific details
all of a sudden the 5 w's come into place

id say it could just the genuine concern for that person
not at all to control them just to be IN THE KNOW at all times
may sound weird
but her it is what it is

i have been in the presence of dudes before that i had absolutely no concern for.
when in their presence i was there and when i left it was gone
they didnt cross my mind til ... they called me or i felt the urge for a lil something something
i was clear on the type of relationship we were keeping ... to the KEY IS TO BE "CLEAR"

I Just Want Him ... Nothing Else

i jus t wanna see you
i just wanna kiss you
id just like to sit @ the pier
eat fruit
plums, peaches, apricots, white necturs ,
just chilll

he likes to do just Nothing
i wana do just Nothting only with him

i miss you

i wana stay home
chillaxxin
drink pinapple red bull n my lil touch of coco ciroc
make ziti
make breakfast in the morning
eat one Salmon Croquette :-)
take a walk on the beach
just lay in the bed
just as long as i am with you
i just want him
nothing else

i dont wana argue
can we start over
meet up where we mwt
introduce our selves again

just us two

is it soo bad that....
i wana spend all my spare time with you


yes according to some this may be a fantasy or un realistic
i just wana go to work
come home cook with or for my hunny my boo, our family
then go to bed together recap our day
then go to sleep
and start our ay in the morning

to me everythingi normally do
is just better when we are together

perhaps one day he will WANT to do all these things with me .......
or is it too late
has he gone away forever?
i love him .. i am in love with him
i love you
i wish you believed in my love

someday

Someday you'll love me.
Someday you'll care.
Someday you'll treasure the moments we've shared.
Someday you'll learn, love is not a game.
Then you'll realize, I'm not the same.
My heart will have left you, my love will have died.
Then you'll realize the tears I've cried.
Someday you'll love, someday you'll care, someday you'll want me and I won't be there.

THINGS THAT PROVE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM*

12..when you think about him,your heart skips a beat.
11..you'll read his texts over and over again.
10..you'll walk really slow together.
9..you'll sometimes pretend to be shy around him.
8..by listening to his voice you'll smile for no reason.
7..you'll wait for hours online just to talk to him even if its only 5 minutes.
6..you'll start to listen to slow meaningful songs.
5..He'll became all that you really think about.
4..you worry about him talking to other girls.
3..you think about those three words all day long.
2..you will do anything for him.
1..while reading this,there was only one person in your mind the whole timE

i love love love him

loving the way .......

I love the way you look at me,
I love the things you say,
I love the way you make me smileIn your own special way.
I love the way you say my name, Your voice tranquil and sweet,
I love the way i lose my voice Whenever our eyes meet.
I love the way you hold my hand, Your soft touch i desire,
I love the way you kiss my lips And fill my heart with fire.
Off all the things in all the world, I swear to you it's true,
I've never loved a single thing As much as i love you.......... other than my Son & Fashion

Kisses

Kiss on the belly:Im ready.
-Kiss on the forehead: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
-Kiss on the cheek: We're friends.
-Kiss on the hand: I adore you.
-Kiss on the neck: I want you,now!! -Kiss pn the shoulder: Your perfect
-Kiss on the lips: I love you.
READ WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:
-Holding hands: We definitely like eachother.
-Touching on the butt: You're mine.
-Holding you tight pressed against eachother: I want you.
-Looking into eachother's eyes: I like you for you, for who you are.
- Playing with hair: Let's fool around.
-Arms around waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while kissing: I am completely confortable with you.
ADVICE: if you were thinking about someone while reading this you're definitely in love

"Please Don't call me no more...." @ 3:46am

"Please Don't call me no more...." @3:46am
Ok
Ok
Ok I won't ...
What a terrible thing to text.
But is he a Bad person a Bad guy. No. He isn't. He's just guy expressing how he feels.
Does like me. Yes he does.
Does he care bout me Yea. Somewhat I'd say. Yes there's. Something bout me that's intriguing to him.
Does he want to write me off from his life completely. NO he doesn't.
He wants to just be cool. Be friends. No emotions. No feelings No mushy. Shit. Nothing that pertains or implies Relationship.
Why not.
This isn't something he's able to "Nurture" @ this time In his. Life.
I work
I'm. Working
I'm @ work.
I'm taking care of business
I'm outta town
I have a client. Ima call you back.
Ima talk to you later.
Chi Chi. No for real Ima hit u back. When I'm in the clear.
My job is not like any other job.
Most people @ my job don't have successful. Relationships.
Most of them don't have relationships @ all
Its not that I don't want to. I am just not able to right now.
The weekdays I be running crazy.
This client that client.
This airport.
This Clear port
This city.
This town
This state
That state
NJ
los Vegas
Cincinnati
LA
Honduras
Alabama
I'm not usually in the citi. I'm usually in this country. That country.
I'm suprised when I met you. I had as much time as I did.
But now my schedule is really booked up.
What does this mean
Where does this leave ME
What does this make ME.
-the new girl with potential
-the fuck buddy
-the side chick.
-The Nobody
-The Slide
-The what
-The who
Who I am I to you
What am I to you
Do I mean anything
As a friend. As us just being cool
As a potential girlf friend. Wife mother of ur child/ children
Do I fit that criteria
Yes
No
Maybe so
Never
Hell no
Hell to the No
Or is it too soon to tell
According to you.
Do u like me. Yes I do.
Do you think of me
Do you wana kiss me
Did you miss me.
Are you in love with me
Do u love me
Do love me little bit. Like u said on the bus. After many drinks
Do just have love for me
Come on now Chi Chi what talking bout ?
You know I don't speak that language
Do yern for me as I do you.
I guess not.
Huh?
What does this mean
I have NO fucking idea
Who am I.
What are we
What are we doing
We cool ... We Friends
Ooooh ok
Like I know what the fuck that really means.
Today is 1 month away from it being 1 year.
To me. A person that wears their Heart on their sleeve
A hopeless Romantic
The fool
The chick no man takes seriously
Yea I know
Men only treat you they way you allow them to
This means a lot to me 1 year. For a person that was totally alone. No dates not many booty calls. No nothing
But anyway
Am I beautiful yes
Am I pretty. Yup
Am I smart. Book smart. Street smart a wee bit
Do I understand Slang. Definitely not
Am I Sexy. You better believe it. I put the S in Sexy.
Am I confident. Hell To the yea.
Do I love myself. Without a doubt
Why am. I torchering myself
My heart
Putting myself through such agony
Asking all these questions
Putting tatoos on my body.
Trying to justify. Or prove
My love to a person
Hasn't. Won't. Can't. Isn't ready to love ME back they way I love him
The way I deserved to be loved
He loves my thick curvy silhouette
My 4 5 6 6.5 6.8 inch stiletto heels
My pierced nipples
My freckles
My face without makeup
My lovely long lashes
My lips
My eyes
My Drive
Yes yes he certainly loves my drive.
Drive for what
Can I drive. A car? Nope well kinda. I have driven.
O yea. My drive to succed. To snatch life by the balls or the lovely breast. N say BITCH your MiNE.
yup that drive.
Ima teen mom
Gave birth @ 13 years old.
I graduated jr high school
High school. 1 year early
I got my AAS degree in Fashion Design n Merchandising.
I own my own company Styles by chimere I own my own Model Agency Chimere Models. The Most Diverse Beauties
I'm versatile
I'm sexxy
I'm out going.
I'm 26
I'm sexual
I'm freaky
I'm beautiful
I look great
I dress to kill
Gurrrl I be killing them
Ima go getter
I am my sons 1st teacher
Jonmere
Jon jon
Lu La
The Lu
I am great mom
I pretty good cook
Does he Love all these Qualities I possess
Yes
Does he love ME. Is He in Love with ME NO
Will he ever be.
Probably not.
Do I have a Man No.
Do I want a Man. Yes
Am I in love Yes
Is Someone in Love with me. NO.
Do men find me attractive. Yes
Do men wana Fuck me. yes they sure do .
Do they wana get to know. Me all of me.
He did
Do they wana know my goodies. Certainly
Do they wana be in a Realtionship with me No
Does he wana be in a relationship. Nope. Well at least not anymore. Or not @ this time.
What have I learned.
I learned never to love before the other shows love. First.
I learned to never wear my heart on my sleeve
I learned. Show no emotion
Hold back.
Do on to others as they do on to you.
Am I a BITCH. Nope.
Can I be A BITCH. I sure as hell will be. From here on out.
Thanxx BATMAN.

TAKEN FOR GRANTED

The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesnt want to be held on to.
Dont fall for someone unless theyre willing to catch you.
The thing about falling in love is that if you do it right youll never hit the ground.
LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY,
so KISS slow,
LOVE deeply,and forgive quickly.
Take chances and never have regrets.
Forget the past but remember what it taught you.
Sometimes you just have to smile and pretend everythings okay,hold back the tears and walk away.
If you want to see the rainbow you must walk through the rain,and if you want true love you must go through the pain

Missing ya .....

Missing someone is a part of loving them. If you're never apart, you'll never know how strong your love is.

thoughts...

Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.

is it Love or Lust ........

Lust will wear off eventually love will just continue to grow.
If it is lustyou will get bored and calling and seeing the person will become more of achore for you then something you want to do.
You will know it is lovebecause you will want to see or speak to this person as much as possible. Or thats at least what I think!

New Site www.stylesbychimere.com Love It

I am Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo beyond excited to see my site finally up & running... yaaay me its totally awesome to see all my work posted in one place .. with new additions to be added daily i just want to give a special thanks to the person who put up the Site Lionel Whyte .. he is a very talented photographer as well as web designer .. i greatly appreciate your work :-))) most importantly i really really wana thank the Photographer who shoot most if not All of my pics on my site her Name is Neef she is the dopest Photographer .. she is the truth .. i absolutely love love ya for working meee and my models with all our craziness during the awesome shoots... also thank you to the models .. whith out the models there would be knowone to wear my clothing .. so i appreciate yall dearly .. with all my heart .. yall bring my creations to life .... its an honor lastly .. thanxxx soo much tomy Glam Squad the makeup artist the Hair stylist ... love love yall i am certain i couldnt doo as well with out yalll thnxx neef, angie aka iisis, janae, anitra for helping with lashes lol .. thnx somuch for all our team work Love love love :-)

sorry to bother you

I feel like when I text you...I bother you..you don't wanna hear from me. so I stopped; it doesn't mean I don't care I just want you to be happy..

I Soo Love Him

She yells because she cares;she cries because shes frustrated.She smiles outof no wherebecause shes thinking of you, even if youre already there.She scrunches her face because shes about to explode. She hits you because she wants to touch you. She stares at you because shes infatuated. She calls every half hour because she misses you. She lectures you because shes boss, not mom. She kisses you because she just wants to. She asks you questions because shes curious, not to be annoying. She wants to know whereyou areto be with you. She calls just to hear your voice. She walks beside you to hold your hand. She sits close to you to lean on your shoulder. She stands in front of you because she wants a hug. Truth is, That girl loves you.

what to do now.... ?

im @ my desk ... im in the bathroom aka my office ..lol walking home .. in bed .. im the bath i cant stop thinking of my ......

this has been a not soo good week for me
my world is sort of crumbling infront of my eyes
the moment i tried to keep myself company or occupied while being alone .. i tried to send alil info that i thought would be fun to hear to my special person... not a good idea

the reply was supposed to be a fun text ...but it was sooooooo hurtfulll and life altering ....

i cant eat i dont sleep ... i dont focus on my job .... he is my air ... my water ... my pulse .... he is a necessity .. why doesnt he know this .... or rather why doesnt he believe this ... my heart is in critical condition right now....

what do i do now ........

i want to just be silent and let nature take its course .. but i cant im afraid some other mother nature will cross my path ... but i know sometimes agression or persistance as far as reaching out to a person... isnt alway a good idea ... so i am trying to chilll but everytime i look up look left look sideways i think of my mr .....
where r u
please come back ... i have never felt sooo hurt really i havent ever felt this way before ...
i know i am a very emotional person .. but sheesh at this point iam beyond emotional .. sheesh i think i have cried a river literally .. no bueno


i write these blogs .. because when i write i can just express my feeling altho theese words are here for the world to see.
but me writing just allows me to express with No interuption... no judgement well at least not right away until people begin to comment lol

but i dont care
i enjoy expressing myself thru words... especially written ... i used to write poetry .. as he does ... i sing at home to myself ... i call it tones from my soul .... these words i write.. are my sriptions from my soul....

Styles By Chimere .... Learns

over the last 7 months i have learned .... so many things

i learned to know my worth ... especially in the business world. i learned that i have paid my dues.
i have been doing fashion for almost 10 years. i do alot of things for free for my people ... my models or customers or fashion shows simply because i love love love what i do.

but there comes a time when things being free or under-estimating my worth .... must come to an end.. n it has. sorry no more freebies.

someone special to me .. says "CTC" CUT THE CHECK ... luv it ... well said mr

its not a personal thing it just Business... if you cant respect it then ... just walk away!

i learned to never to wear my heart on my sleeve ...because no one will ever take better care of it than me. so i now ... i must keep my feeling to myself even if the other has poored their out to me 1st n even then i will be skeptical.

also the suprising thing to me .. within this past week .. is that all though a person spells out how they feel for a particualar individual ... they person may not take heed.

or it is very possible that one can just walk away dead smack in the midst of a building a very special bond.

i think i was left hanging because of judgement and assumption and also being put in category based on my age.

or maybe someone was begining to fall for chi chi and instead of expressing their feelings and fear. its just easier to walk away and disreguard how the other feels.
especially when the one who has expressed significant amounts of love love n more love for one... but really has no info ... no details.... no address... no background... for their said love....
what is his name ...... i call him my Batman ... he has simply drove away in his fancy auto-mobile and vanished........................................................................................................... flat line ........... my heart no longer beats

ME........ within Styles By Chimere

Looking after myself should be my No.1 priority. it is difficult to put myself 1st when so many other areas of life also need my attenion. but unless i look after my needs, i wont have anything to give others. I will be putting a A Sign on my door and over my Heart ...the reads ... Back Soon and attend to more pressing issues ..... ME

STYLES BY CHIMERE .... HOLDS TEARS

ITS SOOOO HARD TO HOLD BACK TEARS WHEN .... someone or something just crushed your heart and soul....


i can only imagine when simese twins are bounded by their hearts then they are separrated ... one dies because one cant live with out the other .....

for the past 7 months i was bonded by the heart to a particular something.. then it was removed.......................................................................................................... how do i live with out my other half ... it was suppposed to be me and him against the world

fear takes a toll on me people and their way of thinking
especially .. for MEN